What can I do to help myself?

Stopping self harm is difficult. The first step is to decide that you want to stop. Thinking about it for the first time, you may see more reasons not to stop and decide that the time is not yet right. Perhaps keep a list of reasons for and against self harm. Often people need a good support network before they can think about stopping.

Deciding to stop

Everybody is unique and what works for one person may not necessarily work for another. Here are some suggestions of things you can do to help yourself gain control over your self-harm and in time these might help you stop completely.
Most of these suggestions are based on the ideas that self-harm is usually a coping mechanism to express distress that you can't find another way of expressing, and that self-harm is often a result of you feeling helpless and out of control over your life.

By finding different ways to express distress and by exercising choice you are loosening the grip of self-harm. Try experimenting with different ideas to find things that help you.

For example:

• seek social support from friends and family
• talk to someone who understands what you are going through, this could be a friend, a relative or another person who self-harms
• find other ways to express feelings and relieve tension, such as hitting something, writing, drawing or doing sport
• do anything but self harm, such as doing things that cause intense sensation, such as biting into ginger or squeezing ice. The important thing is that it causes intense sensations, perhaps even pain for a brief time, but does not cause lasting harm
• try to delay self-harming for a short time (e.g. start with 15 minutes and gradually increase this time)
• get up and go round to a friend or relatives house
  do something soothing such as having a hot bath with bath oil or make a hot cup of cocoa and snuggle under the duvet
• do something practical, like write a letter to a friend, choose a random object and think of 30 different uses for it

Before you cut...Try to ask yourself the following questions and give answers:

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself?


• What has brought me to this point?


• I been here before?


• What did I do to deal with it?


• How did I feel then?


• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far?


• What else can I do that won't hurt me?


• How do I feel right now?


• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?


• How will I feel after hurting myself?


• How will I feel tomorrow morning?


• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?


• Do I need to hurt myself?

[taken in part: Rethink]