Fridays Readers Story

Tasha + Kay said...

Hello..
We Are Natasha + Kayleigh
We Have Both Had Very Bad Life Experiences And People Seam To Class Us As Emos..Like People Who Slit Their Wrists And Consantly Go On About How Hard Life Is Which Is Total Shit!

Natasha..
1.When I First Moved House I Started To Get Abused By A Family Member.
I Never Told My Parents Because I Felt Lonly, Guilty + Used.
But Thats Life.

2.The Reason Being That I Couldnt Tell My Parents Is Because When Thought The Time Was Right It Was Really The Worst Time Of All.
My Mum Had Cancer And On Her Recovery The Disk In Bottom Of Her Back Slipped.
If You Are A Doctor You Will Know How Bad It Is.
She Was On Omophine(Substitute To Heroine) Every 4 Hours Which Made Her Very Sleepy + Even More Ill.

3.It Was Bad Enough Knowing That My Farther Cheated On My Mum A Number Of Times And Gave Her A STD.
But Knowing That The Corse Of My Mums Back Was Because He Beat Her All The Time Made Me Feel Down.
But Then I Accidently Found Out That Before My Mother Was Pregnant With Me My Farther Cheated On Her So She Cheated On Him Back, Which Ment That The Person I Used To Call Farther Was Probly Not Even My Real Dad.

4.Brothers + Sisters.
My Little Brother Gets Bullyed At School Alot.
My Oldest Sister Bullys Me + Gets Very Obssested Over Small Matters.
My Middle Sister Is Beautiful But Dose Not Agree + She Gets Very Down Over How She Looks.

All That Has Happend In My Life I Have Turned To Self Harming.
Doing This Makes Me Feel Safer, Stable + Very Relaxed In My Soul.

Kayleigh..

I Feel That Natasha Has Had A Worse Life Then Me +I Feel So Sad For Her Most Of The Time. Yet, When I Was A Child I Had No Friends And The Only Person Really Trusted Was My Granny. I Told Her Every Thing And She Would Listen And Help Me Afterwards. When My Granny Died After Having A Heart Attack I Felt All Alone And Like I Had No One To Talk To.
It Took Me A Very Long Time To Get Over Her Death..This Meaning A Few Years. Because Of This I Didnt Talk To Many Of The Other Children In My School Because I Felt Like No One Cared. When I Started To Make A Few Friends I Started To Become A More Happy Child, Until I Found The Horrible Bunch Of Children. They Would Think Of The Meanest Things To Say To Bring Me Down. The Few People I Thought Were My Friends Then Changed And Used Things I Told Them Agenst Me..Even Things About My Granny.

I Learnt How To Deal With All The Immature Lil Gits And Move On, But I Guess Some People Never Change As I Still Got Bullied Alot And In The End I Started To Self Harm But Not As Bad As It Has Turned Out.

I Have Recently Found Out A Auntie Of Mine Has Cancer And Its One Of The Worst Things In The World. She Hardly Knows Me + I Hardly Know Her But Thats Not The Point. If She Dies Then Thats One More Death To Add To A Long List Of Family Members That Have Died And Some How I Dont Think Im Gonna Be Able To Handle It.

Natasha + Kay..
We Have Both Had Very Bad Experiences That Have Led Us To Self Harming. We Both Feel That Life + Love Are A Form Of Death!
Love Is A Word That Is Miss-used Because Love Never Last But It Never Ends Like Life + Death.
If You Want To Share Experiences Or Critisize Our Views Please Do So As We Are Very Keen To Homologate (Accept) What Ever You May Think.x

Natasha + Kay were unique, two friends that chose to write to me together and seperately. I havnt heard from them since April, but I choose to believe that is because they are doing fine.... I will try to include all their past posts ....abz

2.9 Explanations of Self-harming Behaviour

The models presented here provide a theoretical overview of the possible reasons that individuals engage in self-harming behaviours (Suyemoto, 1998). The following table is adapted from Suyemoto and MacDonald’s (1995) Model Summaries and Suyemoto’s (1998) Functional Models of Self-Mutilation.

Current Models Used To Explain Self-Harming Behaviour
Environmental Model Grounded in behavioural & systemic theory, particularly Bandura’s (1977) social learning theory, this model concentrates on the interaction between an individual who self-harms & their environment.
Environmental	Self-harming behaviour is learnt through modelling or vicarious reinforcement. Adolescents typically learn that injury & care are associated via their parents’ models, & attempt to use self-harm as a mechanism for self-caring. Self-harming is subsequently maintained by external reinforcement (i.e. attention, social status) or self-reinforced (i.e. relief from emotional tension, ending dissociation).
Drive Models Based on psychoanalytic theory, these two models conceptualise self-harm as repression or an expression of life, death & sexual drives.
Antisuicide	Self-harm is seen as conceptually distinct from suicide in intent, lethality & desired outcome. Destructive impulses are directed into self-harming behaviours to avoid the total destruction of the self. As such, self-harm is conceptualised as an active coping mechanism, not a suicide attempt.
Sexual	Self-harm is a form of punishment for or an attempt to avoid sexual feelings or acts; an attempt to control sexuality or sexual maturation; or a means of attaining sexual gratification. Support for this model is derived from the high correlation between sexual abuse & self-harm, the absence of self-harm before puberty, & the greater incidence of sexual dysfunction exhibited by self-harmers.
Affect Regulation Models Predominantly situated within ego and self-psychology, although also associated with object relations theory, the following two models view self-harm as a means of regulating affect.
Affect Regulation	Self-harm is a means of communicating to the self or others, the intolerable emotional pain experienced by the individual. It is also a mechanism for maintaining control over these intense emotions & feelings.
Dissociation	Self-harm is utilised to terminate or induce dissociation to create or maintain a sense of self when presented with intolerable emotional pain.
Interpersonal Model Fundamentally grounded in object relations but also conceptualised in self-psychology, this model focuses on the need to emphasise the boundaries of the self.
Boundaries	Self-harm is used an attempt to overcome the intense feelings & emotions that threaten to engulf the individual. The skin - the most obvious physical boundary between the self & others – is attacked to reiterate a sense of self & the blood reassures the self-harmer that they are alive.

* Taken from the 2004 Project Report
Adolescent Self-Harm: An Exploration of the Nature and Prevalence in Banyule/Nillumbik
[the report is a word document but can be veiwed in html .... abz

Self harm prejudice - Guest Post

Article by Tony White

Sunday, 28 September 2008

Self harm prejudice

There was an article in today’s Sunday Times newspaper by Dr Cindy Pan on self harming. It is just a short piece and quite a good statement of what the literature says in general and it does in particular highlight a prejudice that is commonly, if not very regularly found in the writings on self harm.

There are a number of reasons why people self harm and I have listed four below

1. Cutting self to release stress and tension
2. Cutting self to get a sense of feeling real
3. Cutting self to manipulate others
4. Cutting self to get attention

Some self harm for these reasons

For some reason numbers 3 and 4 are seen in a most derogatory light by the general public and indeed in the technical literature as well. For instance Cindy Pan states, “While some have mistakenly viewed SIB (Self-injurious behaviour) as a “call for help” or a type of attention seeking behaviour, it is generally a highly secret activity, with self injurers usually going to extensive lengths to conceal and wounds”.

Why has she used the word ‘mistakenly’, what’s wrong with self harming to get attention?

Number 1 cuts self to release tension and number 4 cuts self to get attention. Both engage in self harm for a clear psychological gain, the first to release tension and the second to get attention. What’s the difference?

There is a belief out there, sometimes stated and sometimes not that when a person does attention seeking behaviour then they are considered pathetic, amoral, inferior or words to that effect. One is viewed in quite a poor light. This is for self harmers and otherwise.

Of course the support groups for self harmers have been quite vigourous in downplaying those who self harm to manipulate or seek attention. Understandably so, as they are wanting the public to view self harmers in a better light not a worse light. Some groups try to deny that there is any who self harm for attention seeking or grossly play down the numbers. Dr Cindy Pan seems to be doing the same. In some ways it has now become sort of politically incorrect to say that a person cuts self so as to get attention.

It took me five minutes to find this on the internet. There are thousands and thousands who are willing to put their self harming and their faces onto the internet for the whole world to see. Yes some do self harm very privately and there are others who are public about it. Obviously different motives are in play.

Whilst all this is good and well there is just one problem. There are people who do self harm to get attention and to manipulate others into certain actions. For instance the woman who cuts self because she knows that will get her placed in hospital for a couple of days. Or the person who self harms because they know that their suicidal statements will then be taken more seriously. What about these people? Not only do the general public look down on them but the self harm support groups deny that they even exist!

So these people:

3. Cutting self to manipulate others
4. Cutting self to get attention

have become the lepers of the leper colonies. They are at the bottom of the bottom of the pile.

One consequence of this shows up in Cindy Pan’s article. At the end she writes about what can be done to help self harmers. The focus is very much on those who self harm for reasons such as tension release or to get a sense of ‘realness’. There is little or none written on what you do for those who self harm to manipulate others. Why would one write about them when they have just stated that they kind of don’t really exist anyway.

In this way what she has written is representative of the clinical literature as well. There is very little written on what treatment one uses for those who self harm to manipulate others or to get attention. Again, how can there be as it is seen as politically incorrect to make such an assertion in the first place!

One treatment strategy that I have used with such people is working with their stroke filters in conjunction with an adaptation of the no-suicide contract which in essence is a no-self harm contract.

[Link: Graffiti]

Guidelines Miss The Reality Of Self Harm (Part 1)

Those who have self-harmed should receive assessment and treatment within 48 hours, new guidelines from the National Institute for Clinical Excellence and the National Collaborating Centre for Mental Health (NCCMH) have recommended in a guideline for the NHS in England and Wales. The guidelines cover acts of self-harm that express personal distress and where the person directly intends to injure themselves, for example through cutting or overdosing. But Phil Barker and Poppy Buchanan-Barker believe there has been a complete lack of imagination in developing these guidelines. In this article they highlight the absence of mental health nursing input and call for new thinking about different ways of responding to problems that have not been successfully dealt with in the past

Self-Harm and Co.

Self-harm has been a hot topic for as long as people have known about it, or been willing to own such knowledge. Now that various 'celebrities' have been included in the self-harmer list - from Princess Diana to Johnny Depp - what once was taboo and disgusting has become almost morbidly fashionable. The virtual avalanche of books published on the subject over the past few years, seems to support this trend towards talking about self-harm, if not actually 'talking it up' (Conterio and Lader, 1999; Levenkron, 1999; Strong, 1999; Turner, 2002).

However, few modern-day practitioners, reared on the psychobabble of 'borderline personality disorder', and related attempts to pigeonhole this phenomenon, might appreciate the complex dynamics - intra-psychic, interpersonal and social - that frame self-harm. It is almost 70 years since Karl Menninger (1938:1985) first discussed the 'war' that humans wage against themselves, for all sorts of different reasons. People who self-harm - especially those who dramatically carve the story of their distress on their bodies - belong to a disparate group of people who use a primitive instinct, designed for self-preservation against others, as a means of defending themselves against an abstract enemy that lies within. Regrettably, many professionals still dismiss people who self-harm as a health care nuisance.

It may be unpopular - and some will say, unscientific - to sketch the membership of such 'self-warring' peoples. However, self-harm seems to have much in common with many people who are suicidal, abuse alcohol and drugs, overeat, starve and purge themselves, or are exercise junkies, many of whom become health care statistics, sooner or later. All such behaviour is, at least indirectly, intentional and results in the 'primary gain' of changing how one feels within the body, if not also about oneself. Regrettably, psychiatry chose to adopt the term 'deliberate', with all its moralising overtones.

At the same time, society cultivates more and more people who are 'unhappy' with the shape or size of some part of their anatomy, or even of their 'self-esteem' or 'self-image' (cf Furedi, 2004). This new breed of 'self-haters' or at least self-dissatisfied people, may well lie at one end of a continuum, which extends through the eating disorders and addictions, to conclude with self-harm and suicide. Some authorities (e.g. Favazza, 1996) would even include all forms of body-modification alongside self-harm - through body piercing etc - although it was not clear whether he was pathologismg the former or normalising the latter.

Taken from a 6 Page Essay written by Phil Barker and Poppy Buchanan-Barker, 2004

Community Psychiatric Nurses Association Nov 2004
Over the next 6 weeks I will post it in parts or you can read the original article here.

Catching Up

Sorry Ive been away beautiful people, had a major problem with my broadband but its all running smoothly now so I will be able to catch up on past posts and new ideas tomorrow. Hope your all doing ok and I will drop by everyones home pages tomorrow when I finish work...

Contracts

Contracts are written or verbal agreements made between a therapist and a client. In the therapeutic setting they are usually employed as a means of managing or decreasing a particular behaviour. Generally, the contract stipulates that the client will perform some action (e.g. call the therapist) before engaging in the detrimental behaviour (Alderman, 1997; Connors, 2000).

Contracts should be used very cautiously with students who engage in self-harming behaviours and are generally not recommended, especially ones that focus on stopping the behaviour. Self-harm is typically not life threatening and as it serves an important function in coping with their deeper underlying issues, it would be unwise to ask the student to simply stop self-harming. A contract such as this can be a setup for failure, imbuing a lack of control in the student, which will increase the likelihood of self-harming behaviours whilst fostering shame and dishonesty in the therapeutic relationship. Contracts are often made to appease the fears and desires of the therapist, rather than the student (Alderman, 1997; Connors, 2000).

However, contracts can be useful if the agreement specifies a proactive behaviour rather than the total cessation of self-harm. For instance, a contract could require the student to phone at least one person before self-harming. This contract does not demand the cessation of self-harm, yet it does present a behaviour that will hopefully decrease the likelihood of self-harming.

Self-harm Contract

I, [young person’s name] , agree to contact at least one adult (e.g. Parent, Aunt, Student Welfare Coordinator, Teacher, Psychologist) before I actually hurt myself. This person need not be _________ [Contractor] __ ; however I may contact [him / her] ___________ if I desire. This contract will be effective for a period of [one week] , beginning on the date indicated at the bottom of this page.

Young Person’s signature Date

Contractor’s signature Date



This contract was adapted from Alderman, T. (1997). The scarred soul: Understanding and ending self-inflicted violence. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.

'Self Harm'

Artist Jules Findley
red thread hand stiched on to hand made paper

Study Reveals Teen Self-harm Rate

By Mona McAlinden
BBC Scotland news website

Self-harm 'is like a drug'

A study has suggested that up to 14% of 15 and 16-year-olds across central Scotland have self-harmed.

Stirling University experts questioned 2,000 teenagers in 2006/07. A follow-up study of 500 of the youths six months later found that 6% had self-harmed.

The experts said self-harming was more prevalent than official figures suggested because less than a quarter of those affected had gone to hospital.

The findings will be presented at a conference on suicide in Glasgow.

The study found that teenagers who reported having concerns about their sexual orientation, a history of sexual abuse or those who knew a family member who had self-harmed were five times more likely to hurt themselves.

High levels of anxiety and low self-esteem were also found to be key factors.

Professor Rory O'Connor, from Stirling University's Suicidal Behaviour Research Group, which carried out the research, said any of those factors made young people five-times more likely to self-harm.

[Read the rest of the article here]

Page last updated at 07:00 GMT, Wednesday, 27 August 2008 08:00 UK

4 Australian Workers

Federation of Psychotherapists and Counsellors of Queensland Inc

Self Harm: Fear or Knowledge?

8-9 November 2008
Rydges Hotel, South Bank, Brisbane

National conference for counsellors/psychotherapists who work with client groups who self harm or are impacted on by self harming. Conference is open to carers of self harming persons and will also cover topics relevant to families.

Click on the link below to see the pdf's for the conference including registration details.

Upcoming Conference

2008 Self Harm: Fear or Knowledge?

Just For You

Despite (or because of) the credit crisis, the war in Iraq, people passing, what he/she did or didn't say, relationships ending, the world tilting on it's axis, it being "that time of the day/month/year/life", the normal run-of-the-mill-stress-of-life ...

Just stop for a moment.

Breathe.

Breathe again.

Have a hug.
Give yourself one if there is no-one else around.
Take this one.

Post Secret

To Drug or Not To Drug

Lately I’ve been playing with a question I was asked after a workshop I presented on SIV. A psychologist stopped to talk after the training and was arguing the need to have the right to restrain people who self-injure.

I gave him my thoughts about how retraumatizing people who already are living in a world of pain serves no one, including the staff of the institutions in which restraint and seclusion (tying people down to beds and/or locking them in padded rooms) remain prevalent He remained adamant that all SIV must be stopped, that clinicians should not have to tolerate anyone who continues to self-injure. He proposed using psychiatric drugs to achieve this as well, but did admit that there are no drugs, used appropriately, that achieve the result he was after.

It was his next statement that I found interesting. He was adamant that if a psychiatric drug could be created to take away the need to self-injure, that all the people living with SIV would be more than interested in taking it forever. I told him that I didn’t think this to be true, but that I would ask the experts, the people who live with SIV. I believe that SIV is not “all bad” as this psychologist was presenting, that SIV serves a purpose in many people’s lives that helps them cope with the aftereffects of trauma and the struggles of healing.

While living with SIV certainly has its down side, it also has a purpose. And as people come to understand the trauma in their histories the need for SIV abates as healing progresses. A drug that would solve the problem so simply would likely do what so many of the other drugs used previously have done, make a person so numb that they might lose touch with their pain and struggle but also become so numbed as to not feel truly alive. I presumed that the price of permanently drugging oneself out of the need for SIV would be too high to pay. I believe that SIV fades away as we learn to understand, experience, and release the pain, rage and disconnection that it manages. We can learn a great deal about ourselves from the urges to self-injure.

But he made me think and now I am curious. Any thoughts out there?

Ruta Mazelis, Editor of The Cutting Edge

So True

Friday Readers Story

Anonymous said...

i started cutting when i was 11 at first it would be the once a month or longer at first it was only with glass then when i went secondary skool people picked on me i felt like i didn't want to live and i tried to commit suicide not by cutting at the time i didn't no it could kill u if u went deep enough i tried to kill myself by wrapping my dads ties around my neck and pulling but removing it at the last minute it felt great tho sometimes i took pills sometimes i would lay under the bath water so i couldn't breath hold pillows on my head.

Then when i was 13 my nan died and cutting seemed to make everything disappear so i did it more often then the buzz stopped so i cut hard and deeper into my arms i regret cuttin but am also addicted just like others

I'm now 17 and trying so hard to stop when i get the need to cut i sit in front of my family because i cant do anything if they are there they don't no about any of this its never gone too far i am good at hiding my secrets and have been hiding them for years now i seem to be good at it.

i haven't cut for about a week now its not long to u but it seems like a life time to me i am proud of myself because of how long iv gone without but when i look at my arms i hate myself even tho I'm stopping cutting the odd one i do now seems to be more serious to me because I'm not only cutting my arms or legs anymore I'm cutting at my wrists I'm scared i will cut deep like some of the cuts on arms and legs because i don't want to die i never have i just want some one to see my pain but they never do.

i want to stop this but its so hard iv been doing it nearly all my teenage life

from t x

What Triggers Wanting To Self Harm?

Understanding your triggers is a good first step towards not cutting- here are some ideas of triggers (they may not all apply to you)

• Not being able to concentrate
• Boredom
• Arguments/upsetting someone
• Failure
• Feeling lonely
• Being unable to communicate or express yourself
• Your thoughts being too fast or not making sense
• Feeling helpless, with no options left
• Wanting to punish yourself, guilt
• Seeing something you can cut with
• People not understanding you
• Feeling angry at yourself
• Being scared
• Seeing blood
• Hearing someone talking about self harm
• Feeling unreal/numb
• Having feelings you don't understand

*Shoot For The Moon

Weekly Update

I've come through a week that at best could be described as emotionally exhausting. Ive run the gauntlet on the entire grief process, numbness/exhaustion, anger/guilt, denial, tears & sadness.

One thing we often don't take into account with mental illness, etc is that those that live with it become finely tuned to themselves physically & mentally, to body & mind rhythm's, to any changes. I also believe that those who have recovered from adversity, ie drug use, self harm, sexual abuse have an incredible inner strength & boy did I need to tap into mine :)

This week when I recognised that I was going to face a personal/external crisis, of which I had little power, I reacted quickly, it was a definite out of my control situation. I acknowledged I would need strength and decided to work on what I could control. The first was what I ate, so I wiped junk food fast and ate 3 healthy meals (not my norm). I controlled my down time, I got out of the house to nature (even when I didn't feel like it). I created peace where I could at home, candles, soft music, phone off, no tv. It was a week of crisis meetings, accountability, communication overload. So I controlled my speach. I only talked when I had to. I couldn't control my sleep patterns, though I tried, they were shattered. I could however rest and lay down when I could.

I set boundaries with others, limiting negative talk near me. I grabbed my support people and hung on, I sought outside guidance (Important for perspective). These are my coping mechanisms and may not work for everyone. It has taken time and self regulation to establish what works for me. I didn't get here overnight and many things I tried over time haven't worked .

Its a matter of believing 'If I can over come_____________ (insert own catalyst) ie sexual abuse, drug use, self harm' I have the skills and belief to cope with anything. Its identifying what has worked in the past, recognising that one isn't coping, and using that skill again. So that has been my lesson this week, and part of my tuning into myself of a Wednesday is a simple recognition of 'How am I going', what can I change so I feel better with who I am, and where I am.

Just Today

Each day offers us the gift of being a special occasion if we can simply learn that as well as giving, it is blessed to receive with grace and a grateful heart.

Sarah Ban Breathnach

Art: "Cherish" by Paulette Insall

Reasons Not To Self Harm

• I don’t want scars
• It hurts other people
• It makes me feel guilty and a failure
• It is not natural to hurt yourself deliberately
• It doesn’t solve anything
• It adds to your problems
• It is damaging
• I am strong enough not to do it
• Once I am over it I can help others with better empathy
• It has run its course and I’m not going back now
• Cutting triggers memories of other bad times when I have cut
• I have better things to do with my time (e.g. eat chocolate)
• My fight will give strength to others who are struggling
• It doesn’t serve a purpose anymore
• I don’t like the awkward questions
• It makes me hate myself
• I don’t deserve to be hurt
• I can give myself rewards for not cutting
• I don’t want all my memories of my teenage years to be about cutting
• I don’t like the feeling the next morning when you remember what you’ve done
• Because it hurts!
• I must tackle the problem rather than avoid it
• I don’t like having to wear long sleeves
• The feelings that “I want to cut” are short urges that pass
• I am a beautiful person inside and out
• Self harm doesn’t heal the pain it only delays it
• I am hurting enough as it is
• I do not deserve to feel guilty any longer
• My life is worth everything
• Think of how long I have gone without cutting
• Every minute I don’t cut I am succeeding
• I might blunt the knife
• It is messy!
• I am worth more than that
• I hate having to break the news to people that I have cut and seeing people’s disappointment
• I am strong. I can and will get through this
• Self harm is the same as any other addiction - the longer I go the easier it will get
• If I can get through this I can get through anything
• What I’m going through is horrible but it’s only a short period of my life
• It is not a weakness to ask for help
• Gradually I will learn to recognise my triggers and understand myself better
• You’d never want your friends to cut so stop being a hypocrite!

Mind Maps

This mind map shows the link between self harm and various emotions.

• taken from 'Shoot For The Moon'

Living On Their Edge

“I really want it all to just be over…all the torture and pain I feel right now I want to just leave behind and never think about again. But I can’t, I’m trapped inside myself and I’ve got no choice but to endure…to cry alone every night with no other shoulder to lean on and nobody to wipe away my tears. I’m screaming inside with the fear that I won’t make it through tomorrow…*SLASH* *SLASH*…ohhhhh. Physical pain over this emotional torture any day of the week for me. In a way I almost feel like Jesus watching myself bleed, the wounds and sorrow I’ve built up streaming down my arms and legs. I feel ALIVE…confirmed! ..........

..........For some reason, society is shocked and often disgusted when presented to an individual with these extreme feelings of shame, low self-worth, and anxiety. The response that follows this shock is a desire to quickly categorize and socially compartmentalize the individual. In order to avoid dealing with the issue of self-injury in our society, we have made attempts to justify the issue by citing probability and genetics as root causes of the problem. In a sample of billions of people, there are bound to be a few screw-ups right? Unfortunately this ridiculous attempt at rationalization is extremely impersonal and ends up creating a shroud of disgust and shame that suffocates the issue of self-injury in our society. "

So begins an 8 page essay available here [pdf]

written by Jimmy

Let me know what you think of it, it is long but I definitely thought it worth the read ...

What Is Self Harm?

For many self-harm is not so much about the inflicting of physical pain as the cessation of emotional pain.

For many people the idea of deliberately harming oneself is difficult to conceptualize. Many of us may spend our time attempting to avoid harm to ourselves either in the short-term (wearing a seat-belt) or in the long-term (exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet). Many of us would flinch from the idea of wilfully inflicting acute damage to our own bodies. How then can we understand individuals for whom harming the self is not something that they avoid or find aversive but is something that they seek out?

Deliberate self-harm is a term that covers a wide range of behaviours some of which are directly related to suicide and some that are not. This is a relatively common behaviour that is little understood.

What is deliberate self-harm?
Deliberate self-harm is a term that covers a variety of behaviours, with a multitude of different functions and a wide range of intentions. Perhaps the most useful definition is from Professor Keith Hawton and colleagues at the Centre for Suicide Research in Oxford (Hawton et al, 2002):

An act with a non-fatal outcome in which an individual deliberately did one or more of the following:

• initiated a behaviour (e.g. self-cutting, jumping from a height) which they intended to cause harm to the self);
• ingested a substance in excess of the prescribed or generally recognized therapeutic dose;
• ingested a recreational or illicit drug (which they intended to cause harm to the self);
• ingested a non-ingestible substance or object (e.g. batteries, razor blades).
  

Two elements are crucial: there is acute damage to the self (this excludes, therefore, behaviours such as smoking or eating an unhealthy diet); and damage is intentional (therefore, excluding accidents or behaviours such as starving where the motive is to lose weight as in anorexia nervosa).

Some clinicians and researchers draw distinctions between forms of deliberate self-harm where there is or is not an intention to die, distinguishing attempted suicide from self-harm or self-mutilation. There is some validity to this distinction. For some people, deliberate self-harm is more about finding a way of coping with life rather than ending it.

Nevertheless, regardless of the method or motive, harming the self seems to put people at risk of more severe forms of self-harm over time. In addition, even for people who primarily think of self-harm (e.g. cutting) as a way of coping, they may at other times harm themselves in other ways where they do have the intention to die. The potential lethality of a method adopted by an individual is not always an accurate indicator of his or her intent. Very few people who harm themselves have sufficient knowledge about how the body works to judge the impact of their actions.

[Source: The Wellcome Trust]

Fridays Readers Story

Anonymous said...

Hi
I'm 14 yrs old and have cut myself since I was 10 years old this wont be helpful in the slightest because I can't help others understand this as I don't even understand it myself. I think the reason I started doing it was because I felt I deserved it, I thought I was worthless. But then it progressed into an addiction, it sounds pathetic, I'm addicted to cutting myself.

I have stopped cutting for about three months before, and I started to feel bad about everything, stuff happened with my friends and I just got back into the routine of hurting myself again. Last year it got really and I couldn't think of anything other than cutting, even when I was happy I didn't feel I deserved to be so I'd cut myself. I have stopped pretty much now, not completely, I am trying to. The last time I hurt myself was last night, but before then it was about two weeks ago. It doesn't sound long I know. But as I was doing it around three times a day not that long ago I think I'm dong alright.

I don't go to a councilor although I have considered it before. I also suffer from problems with eating, not an eating disorder I just have a strange relationship with food and I have since I was young. My parents recently found out about the self injury. They told me that I could go and talk to someone if I thought it would help. I said no, as I didn't want to talk to them about it, I was ashamed, and I felt terrible. I'm sorry for this as it isn't helpful in the slightest.

xx

Mind Maps

Since my break Ive lost touch with others so tonight has been one of getting out and about the blogworld. I always lurked a little at Polar Bears Blog, he is a self described loner, chameleon, introvert & borderline personality disordered. What caught my attention tonight is his wonderfully creative Mind Map that he created to help with/explain his DBT (Dialectical behavioral therapy) contract. Anyway its worth checking out, I loved it.

How do parents view their adolescents who engage in self-harming behaviors?

"Mental health professionals are interested in parents’ perceptions of adolescents who engage in self-harming behaviors. A new study published in the British Journal of Psychiatry (2008) titled, “Parents’ perspectives on adolescent self-harm: qualitative study,” examines this issue. Twelve parents of adolescents who engaged in self-harming behaviors were interviewed. And the results? “Parents commonly suspected and spotted self-harm prior to disclosure or service contact; however, communication difficulties and underestimating significance led to delays in addressing the behaviour. Parents struggled to understand and cope with self-harm.” The data from this study support that idea that parents are often aware of the their child’s self-harm but are unsure of how to intervene.

The Bottom Line: This study supports the idea that parents are often aware of their adolescent’s self-harming behaviors, but lack the knowledge of what to do about it. "

Source:Dr. Jeff's and Dr. Tanya's Blog

God this frustrates me! Does a study of twelve teens have any validaty. Does this one tell us anything we don't know. Im not having a go at those who conducted the study nor the parents involved but to me the money could of been better spent. Yes for mental health professionals this may have been an aspect that they wanted more information on, but if you are going to put the time and effort in, broaden the base you are using to come to conclusions. Then it may be helpful.

Gees...

My Thoughts

Since my time back Ive decided to put a little of me in here and regain some structure to the blog. I have in the past (see tags My View) but not with any regularity so each Wednesday I'll allot some time to myself ... perhaps looking at where I am at, if I'm maintaining a balance, goals for the next week.

As I begin to shake off the grey of the past two months, I look back and it was an inevitable slide. The H.A.L.T acronym taught to me, never get too HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY, TIRED as my 'quick check' never even got a look in. Hungry I'm not good at, I eat spasmodically at the best of times, Tired, is often a given with shift work, but instead of resting on days off, Ive been off the Richter.. mainly walking, but where some take the dog for a brisk walk, I can trek for 5 hours (not good) ... as the two months progressed I isolated more (well I was walking the beach...lol) but seriously I withdraw from phones, people, the outside. So mix in the lonely... Angry (tis not my nature) ahhhh but its ugly step sister Depressed?

Bingo ... The trouble is get in this state & you cant see the bleeding obvious....

So my goal for the following week, is to be active in my own well being, listen to my body, regain at least a sleep pattern, and eat more regularly, healthy is not a concern as normally my nutrition is but with more regularity will be my focus. Sounds like simple stuff... but believe me its the basics I can screw up & overlook.

Quote

May you find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself, and not be dependent on another's judgment of your accomplishments.

[unknown]

Cover-up Tattoos

"Cover-up tattoos are common; people often get a design, but then change their minds (or partner) and want it covered with another image. It is also becoming more and more common, however, for people to choose branding and scarification to cover up old self-harm scars.

The technique is called ‘body reclamation’ and is meant to put those who have cut or otherwise hurt themselves back in control of their bodies and have a fresh start with no scars. Whether this is good or bad, I can’t decide.

Tattoos are also frequently chosen to cover scars, which can be a very effective method, as you can see from the pictures above."

The above is from 'Trendsetter Magazine'

So whats your thoughts...Mmmm mine, I'm not sure if tattoos would successfully cover scars. or how a tat gun would work with scar tissue.. and I guess would only be successful psychologically if you are a fan of tattoos in the first place. I do have tattoos and quite like them however for myself personally I wouldn't want a full sleeve done so its not for me. Ive also heard of branding being done to cover self harm scars. Since Im trying to cover all bases on self harm, I thought I would include this story. What doesnt work for me, may work for someone else.

Mmmm

Fridays Readers Story

Tranquilium (anonymous) said...

Dear Abbey,

I am currently sixteen, nearly seventeen. Up until somewhat recently, I'd been self-harming in various different ways since I was seven years old. It started out as bruising, slamming my arms in drawers, punching myself, etc. ("banging" as it's most commonly referred to. or, more specifically, "wrist-banging." That began due to loss of family members, and bulling in school. I remember thinking that "there must be something wrong with me, nobody wants to be around me." I was trying to fix myself through beating myself up. That went on for awhile.

When I was eleven, I began cutting, as my depression worsened and there were many more deaths and painful events happening in my life as well. Then, two weeks after my thirteenth birthday - my older sister died. I blamed myself for a very long time.

Later on, the same year (I was thirteen) I began burning myself. with lighters, cigarettes, whatever I could get a hold of. (salt and ice was always a favorite of mine as well)

Things just escalated from there. I attempted suicide 8 times before being hospitalized. then 9 times before I was finally sent to a long term psychiatric hospital for six months. That was May of '07 through November of '07.

The time at that hospital (Havenwyck RTC) was a HUGE turning point in my life. I've made an amazing recovery, and while I'm still dealing with severe anxiety, my depression is under control, as are my other issues that aren't entirely related to this specific topic.

If you or anybody, want any details or information on stopping self-harm, getting help, or just.. needing any advice. Anyone can email me at tranquilium@live.com
Or you can go to my website and leave me a message - I'll get back to you. :)

~ You're truely,
Tranquilium

Just To Remind Myself

Time Out.

Im sorry everyone, for August, Sept I crashed physically and emotionally. I have no idea what the catalyst was but the result was the same. Im not 100% yet but Im trying to get things back on track.

Its probably been the hardest period of my life since the time after my sons father died. I pretty well withdrew from life, trying desperately to keep going and to not harm myself. The fact that I didnt is a positive, I know it is, but at the moment I find it difficult to see positives, I can see them but not feel them if that makes sense.

My concentration is still shot, I find it hard to focus on tasks, Im having periods of being hyper but not manic. So thats where I am at. I havnt been visiting other blogs but I will. I came close to wiping my blogs but a dear friend stopped that (Ta Mix) however I lost the address on this one, so I will get around and let others know the new one.