The Black Dog

Since Churchill, people have related to the term of depression being a black dog, in fact in Australia the depression institute is named that. Its not like that for me.

Depression is more of a person, a shadow self. This friend is familiar to me, no surprises. Even at his worst and most destructive this friend is there. He envelopes me in negativity, talks to me in sense, 'You cant do that, dont try that, dont believe others, you know your not good at that' He is like the life coach, holding my hand, drawing me deeper.

With a deep slow voice, he entices me to stay with him, 'you know your not good enough, stay here with me where you belong' I fall into his arms as easy as too a lover & a blackness envelopes me, even the air is thick. There is no need for me to eat, to bathe, to dress or go outside. I slow my breathing, my thoughts and movements to his pace. Everything is slow, everything is meaningless.

Even living seems meaningless, his seductive voice whispers on, it all makes sense when you hear it from him & you fail to hear your own voice or the voice of others but give in to his as fighting is just too hard.