I Think ...

Hope

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

Dale Carnegie
American Author

No matter how many times I try and fail, how stupid I feel for daring, how many promises I make to myself that end broken, I will keep trying because deep in my soul, where no one treads but me, I know I am worth more than this, I know I deserve better and I will keep trying till I succeed . . . Love Abbey

Learning to Love Yourself:

Ideas To Love Yourself

Strip naked (yep, get it ALL off!)
Go stand in front of a full length mirror.
Now, instead of focusing on all those moles, hair patches and love handles…
…concentrate on all the drop dead gorgeous things about yourself.
Yep, it’s bloody hard, but you can do it!
Try three things to start with.
Say them out loud to yourself - and mean it! Things like:
“Addy - my god - you have the cutest smile you’ve ever seen!”
“Look at those nipples, they’re damned awesome, how could anyone not like those?”
“And good god, look at that adorably spankable ass? Absolutely mind blowing,”
See, you’re starting to see yourself differently already…
…now do this everyday, every-single-day!
Adding one more thing each time.
Within a few weeks there’ll be nothing left you don’t love.

[Eliminate the Stigma]

You Are Unique

“Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.”

–G.Calin
*Thanks to 'Tha' Minx'

Negative Self-talk & Your Self-esteem

Self image is how we see ourselves, and how we think others see us. Self image plays a HUGE role in how we behave and feel.

Q: What is self esteem?

A: Self-esteem is our internal feelings and evaluation of ourselves based on our "perceived" self-image.

Self-esteem and self image are closely inter-related. And, are largely based on our feedback while growing-up (parents, peers, other important figures).

Fact: it takes about 20 positive statements ABOUT OURSELVES (the foundation of our self-image---self-esteem) to counter-act even just 1 negative personal statement!

Here's the difficult part: it doesn't take a continual repetition of negative statements from our parents, peers, and others throughout our childhood to cause low self-image-self-esteem...fact is, once we get a couple in our head, we can use them over and over again. Again and again we take those false negatives and repeat them unconsciously (completely unaware). It's like having a constant heckler with you.

Can counseling help? Most definitely. Negative self-talk is a big problem that most counselors are able to help with using a cognitive-behavioral counseling approach. We need to replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk we're willing to let ourselves accept. You can't draw on a chalkboard if there's an eraser following close behind. That's what negative self-talk is....it erases the good, and replenishes it with bad.

Just For You

Despite (or because of) the credit crisis, the war in Iraq, people passing, what he/she did or didn't say, relationships ending, the world tilting on it's axis, it being "that time of the day/month/year/life", the normal run-of-the-mill-stress-of-life ...

Just stop for a moment.

Breathe.

Breathe again.

Have a hug.
Give yourself one if there is no-one else around.
Take this one.

Changing Your Mind

Positive (or negative) self-talk can be very powerful. If you go into an exam, thinking “I can do this. I’m totally prepared. I’m going to ace this thing!” you’re far more likely to be successful than if you go in, worrying “I’m not ready for this. I’m going to fail!”

In addition to affecting your academic performance, self-talk influences your athletic performance, your ability to overcome personal crises, and your eating and physical activity behaviors.
Some tips:
1. Listen to your thoughts.
2. Decide if your thoughts help or hurt your progress.
3. STOP your negative thoughts.
4. Re-word your negative thoughts to make them into positive messages. Check out the guidelines and examples below:

Consider these guidelines...
• Think about successful changes you’ve already made. Imagine good results with changes you plan on making.
• Say what you are doing now. Use the present tense.
• Make it as positive as you can. Be specific.
• Forget what should be.
• Make it personal.

Afirmations 101

One of the ways to change negative, self-defeating attitudes about yourself is to begin to say affirmations....

The word 'affirm' means to 'assert to be true'.

Initially you may find that saying positive things about yourself difficult to do as your ego will want to continue with the negative self-defeating thinking you have had up to now in your life....and in a sense your ego has a vested interest in continuing to 'be right' and won't want to change the way you think about yourself.

An indication of this is that you may notice some resistance when you first read over or speak a positive affirmation. Know, that the resistance that surfaces is an indication of the degree of work that is ahead for you in order to change your current negative self-defeating patterns of thinking and attitudes.

Therefore it can be useful to preface an affirmation with
"I am willing to
e.g .... love myself....."
as this doesn't seem to create the same level of resistance as saying for example
"I love myself...."

A reminder to you is that the most important or 'core relationship' in your life starts with the relationship you have with yourself. It is a tragedy to go through life having a negative relationship with yourself. As I have been known to say, when speaking about self-esteem, 'like it or lump it', who you are is who you are.

Be open to giving the affirmations 'a go', ...know that it does take some practice to change your old negative patterns of thinking but when you do you will find that the way you experience yourself and your life will improve for the better.

[taken in part: Creative Wellness]

Affirmation

' I am willing, to be to free, to be myself. '

Image: Mirror. by *D-e-v-i