The first step to getting the things you want out of this life is this: Decide what you want.
Ben Stein
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
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S.I.A..D March 1st
Self Injury Awareness Day
Anything and everything on this site may be potentially triggering. Please take care when looking around.
I WANT TO BE FREE...
... an attempt to relieve pain rather than inflict it...
If I have used anything on this site which breaches copy-right or I have inadvertantly used your work, please let me know and I will remove it... Abz
3 comments:
For me that's a big question I don't know the answer to - or won't stop to really think about, because I'm too scared and think I'm too useless to do anything else.
The only thing I know I do want - but am also too scared of - is a partner, a husband. But whoever he is, if he exists, he has eluded me thus far. And that makes me feel worse: nobody wants me, so I must be worth nothing.
Which I know is rubbish, but that's how I feel.
It took me a while to think this over Just...
"The only thing I know I do want - but am also too scared of - is a partner, a husband. But whoever he is, if he exists, he has eluded me thus far. And that makes me feel worse: nobody wants me, so I must be worth nothing."
You wrote my words, for all my healing and progress that is still the core beliief I have and I don't know how to change it...
Sorry I cant advise on this one...lol & it doesnt sound like rubbish t me, it sounds an honest reflection of your feelings and where you are at today ...which is more honest than walking around saying 'I'm fine, I'm fine' ...:)
Sometimes when we think of what we want it is easier to make two lists - one of which is stuff we don't want - they could be 'I don't want to feel this way' or 'I don't want to be treated badly anymore'. Then the other is of 'safe things' that we want - it could be something as simple as 'to look at the flowers on my way to work today', or 'to call my friend and say hi'.
As with everything it is practice but even if you put a couple of things on these lists it gives you a bit of direction, something to do today. It honors you.
And if you are like me, I never know what "big things" I want - apart from 'to be happy'. By focussing on the little things I get a sense of achievement and I am doing things that do work towards making me feel better about me.
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