Learning how to set boundaries is a vital part of learning to own yourself, of learning to respect yourself, of learning to love yourself. If you never have to set a boundary, then you will never get in touch with who you really are - will never learn to define yourself in a healthy way.Setting a boundary is not making a threat - it is communicating clearly what the consequences will be if the other person continues to treat us in an unacceptable manner. It is a consequence of the other person's behavior.
Setting a boundary is not an attempt to control the other person - although some of the people who you set boundaries with will certainly accuse you of that - just as some will interpret it as a threat. Setting a boundary is a part of the process of defining yourself and what is acceptable to you. It is a major step in taking what control you can of how you allow others to treat you. It is a vital responsibility to yourself and your life.
Setting a boundary is not a more sophisticated way of manipulation - although some people will say they are setting boundaries, when in fact they are attempting to manipulate. The difference between setting a boundary in a good healthy way and manipulating is this:
When you set a boundary you let go of the outcome.
About Setting Boundaries
- Setting boundaries means that you are taking responsibility, being adult and demanding equality and respect in a relationship.
- Setting boundaries reflects your right to say NO to those things that aren't right for you.
- Setting boundaries is about learning to take care of yourself, no matter what happens, where you go or who you are with.
- Boundaries emerge as we learn to value, trust and listen to yourself.
- Boundaries emerge from a belief that what you want, need, like and dislike is important.
- Boundaries emerge from deep decisions about what you believe you deserve and don't deserve.
taken from:Heart2Heart
Image:Self Love by ~ArmSock666
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