Why We Self Injure

Not everyone self-injures for the same reason. Many of us even have more than one reason for doing it. Here are listed some of the more common reasons. There are others that may not be listed here, of course.

To deal with unbearable emotions.
Because we were never taught (or allowed) to express feelings in a healthier way.
To punish ourselves for not being good enough, smart enough, fast enough.
To help prevent ourselves from feeling emotional pain.
For the scars: To "mark" oursleves with our failures and successes.
To get "high".
To feel something.
Because we are addicted and feel we have to.

To deal with unbearable emotions.
I think that this is the most common reason why we self-injure. We seem to be more sensitive than the average person, and so emotions that would cause them to "boil over" or "shut down" become absolutly unbearable when placed within ourselves. Not having been born with pressure release valves atop our heads, our self-injury is the fastest and easiest method for us to use to lessen these extreme emotions.

Because we were never taught (or allowed) to express feelings in a healthier way.
Maybe we grew up in abusive homes. Maybe our parents were "solid rocks" in the face of stress. Maybe they painted everything a happy shade and ignored the darker colours of the spectrum. In some way those of us who fit in this group were short-changed emotionally. No one taught us healthy release for all our emotions. Maybe we didn't have the laughter, maybe there were never any tears, maybe we never learned just what to do with anger. One day we self-injured (either accidentally or on purpose) and it lessened the pressure of those emotions which we were bottled up inside of us. Hence the cycle began.

To punish ourselves for not being good enough, smart enough, fast enough.
I have seen this in many professionals and overacheivers, and to a lesser extent in other self-injurers as well. Most of us in this group grew up in strict homes, many of us had overbearing perfectionists for parents. Some of us were abused or severly punished for no reasons at all, or for reasons we never really understood. We don't feel adequate. We don't feel that we can be "good enough". Most everything we do is wrong, and we feel we must be punished for it. In short, we feel we must "pay the price" for our inadequecies.

To help prevent ourselves from feeling emotional pain.
Often we self-injure to mute our emotional pains. By focusing on the physical actions of self-injuring, and then dealing with the physical pain of the injury, we can push aside the emotional hurt for awhile, or even forget it entirely. Almost all self-injurers occassionally fall into this category, I think.

For the scars: To "mark" oursleves with our failures and successes.
Some people don't consider this self-injury, but I do. Mainly because once the addiction begins to take us over we will do anything to repeat it, any excuse that seems reasonable to our subconscious. and self-injury of this sort is just as addictive as any other type. I know ladies who get a piercing everytime a bioyfriend leaves them, men who get a tattoo for every pay raise and new car. I think it's self-injury of a different sort. These people don't realise what they're doing, because their self-injury is more "socially acceptable". Maybe the guy with 24 facial piecings gets weird looks, but no one draws him aside and suggest hospital stays and medications, no one believes that he's going to kill himself or die trying. I have also met self-injurers who cut their forearms and legs to mark "successes" or "failures". It's even been rumoured that Christian Slater (popular U.S. actor) scars himself with cutting to mark the "important stages" of his life. In rare cases I suppose you could even find someone who burns or brands to mark themselves.

To get "high".
Self-injury, blood loss, and pain all cause chemical reactions in your brain. This chemical reaction causes a sort "high" in many people. Some self-injurers become addicted to this giddy, invincible feeling, and continue self-injuring to get this feeling.

To feel something.
Sometimes the sheer "nothingness" becomes too much too handle. Those of us who fit in this group have a lack of emotion. We don't feel much of anything, and what we do feel is very muted. This often results from a mood disorder, psychiatric medications, or traumatisation. Those in this group self-injure to feel something, to them anything, even pain, is better than feeling nothing at all.

Because we are addicted and feel we have to.
As mentioned, self-injury does cause chemical reactions in the brain (pretty much anything that deals with emotions does), and it's easy to become addicted to the "highs". However, it is also easy to become addicted to the "lows" of self-injury. We self-injure so often and for such deep reasons that it becomes like a cancer. We begin scratching as children, are biting as teens, and cutting by adulthood. The self-injury is the only way we know how to "cope" and so we begin to use it more and more often to help us get through life.

Written by Kharres.