Ponder the following quote:“If you had a friend who talked to you like you sometimes talk to yourself, would you continue to hang around with that person?”
~Rob Bremer
Entwined with SH, depression and other mental health issues is negative self talk.
This self-critical voice works by...
Emphasizing past failures.
Ignoring anything good that happens.
Setting impossible standards of perfection.
Assuming others' thoughts about you are negative.
Calling you names.
Negative self-talk is usually a mixture of half-truths, poor logic, and distortions of reality, or an unbalanced focus on a problem, that perpetuates negative emotions, such as pessimism, guilt, fear, anxiety as well as self-sabotaging behaviors. It often occurs when in times of emotional turmoil, or when we are going through stress or a personal transition. For some of us, it has become our daily inner dialogue.
There are many ways to free ourselves from negative self-talk. For some, the best step may be to work with a good therapist or counselor. Others may just need to pay attention to the negative self-talk and use some of the suggestions provided here. Support groups (in person or online) may also be beneficial.
So how do we stop negative self-talk?
Step 1. Become aware of it.
Step 2. Find out where the negative self-talk originated.
Step 3. Acknowledge the pay-offs.
Step 4. Take conscious steps to stop the negative self-talk.
Its these four steps I want to go deeper into in later posts. How do we turn it around? In fact, an astonishing 45,000 – 51,000 thoughts go through our heads on an average day. Many of these thoughts are harmless, such as “I must remember to pick up my clothes at the cleaners” . When you keep repeating the negative messages to yourself, you create a limiting belief that goes on to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So just for this week lets start being aware of what we are saying ...
4 comments:
For many years I believed everything that my brain told me, every thought that I had about myself, I believed it - because why would you be anything but honest with yourself?
It took me years to realise that the thoughts were not true, and it took me even longer to come to grips with the fact that 75% of the thoughts that I had about myself were distorted, and were pulling me down. it took a lot of time and hard work to train myself not to believe every thought I had about myself.
Negative self talk will possibly always effect me, on the good days I know that the thoughts are not true, but on a bad day those thoughts can stop me from going about my day-to-day routine.
great topic Abz
xx
That is so how I felt Hope,Faith&Love ... I assumed these thoughts were 100% true, even at their most self destructive ... no one had to tell me I was not worth anything cause I was constantly telling myself. These thoughts were so limmitting and stopped me trying anything...why bother i was going to fail...
Your so right that it takes time, and alot of hard work (usually with a damn good counsellor) the problem often is you dont think your worthy of someone listening to your problems in the first place... but if you can make that step its a big start.
Not only time and work but its a lifetime committment to not let those thoughts back in and take a hold.
Glad you liked the topic H+F&L, its one i want to explore further....
When I was working with troubled youth a few years ago, I was given the priviledge of attending a two day workshop on suicide prevention. The main thing I learned was to get said person talking and being a good listener—–reading between the lines, so to speak, as to what the person was Really saying.
The Anatomy of Depression
Hi Ahuli... I think we've lost the art of being good listeners at times.Really listening with attention. We all get too busy, to hectic. You can read between the lines, but mostly an honest question of Do you feel like harming? is enough.Thanks for sharing
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